🌍 Poor Donny: Europe Finally Hit the “We’re Not Doing This” Button

Wedgie On Tour
Mar 16
2 min read

(A WedgieOnTour.com dispatch from the Strait of Oh‑My‑God‑Not‑Again)

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/cd122a_a2c58f82a9ac4939b35f47189ef04290/1080p/mp4/file.mp4

Poor Donny.

He got on Air Force One, pointed at the Strait of Hormuz like it was a clogged sink, and declared,

“I’m demanding backup!”

Because nothing says “stable global leadership” like threatening NATO with a “very bad future” if they don’t send ships to fix a crisis he helped ignite.

But this time?

Europe didn’t flinch.

Europe didn’t blink.

Europe didn’t even pretend to look busy.

🇬🇧 Keir Starmer basically said:

“We’re not getting dragged into your war, mate.”

He’s working with EU allies on an actual plan — you know, one that doesn’t involve yelling at people from a plane.

🇩🇪 Germany said:

“This is not our war. We did not start it.”

Translation: You break it, you bought it.

🇱🇺 Luxembourg said:

“We don’t respond to blackmail.”

Which is diplomatic code for: Try that tone again and see what happens.

🇮🇹 Italy said:

“No thanks.”

Short. Sweet. A Mediterranean boundary.

🇪🇺 Europe collectively said:

“We’re good.”

And honestly? They are.

🛢️ Is Europe Done Pandering to the U.S.?

It sure looks like it.

For decades, Europe treated the U.S. like the unpredictable uncle at Christmas — smile, nod, refill his drink, hope he doesn’t start a fire.

But now?

Europe is looking at Trump’s Iran war, the oil chaos, the threats, the demands, and going:

“This is a toxic asset. We’re not co‑signing this loan.”

They’re choosing diplomacy over theatrics, stability over spectacle, and actual strategy over whatever Donny is doing on Truth Social.

🛢️ And the Oil Prices?

Oil is spiking because Iran effectively closed the Strait after U.S.–Israeli strikes.

Europe knows that sending warships into a drone‑filled choke point is not “stabilizing the market” — it’s “adding fireworks to a gas leak.”

So instead of joining Donny’s “Armada of Feelings,” they’re working on economic buffers, alternative supply routes, and diplomatic pressure — actual grown‑up solutions.